Can Men and Women be “Just friends”?
I’d like to ask that old question, Can Men and Women be friends? By that I mean platonic friends, no sexual overtones. From first-hand experience I would say, yes they can! My dearest friend is a man, who literally has been my rock for the last 9 years. He moved back to the United States a few years ago and I miss him terribly. We still get to talk on skype every few weeks, but it is not the same as having lunch and having our chats in person. He would have to be the one person in this world that completely gets me and appreciates me exactly as I am and that is saying a lot! So you understand why I miss him so much! Fortunately, he is not my only male friend.
A little while ago I had some minor surgery and had to take some recovery time. As a woman who is usually bouncing off the walls, power walking, running in circles for work or trying to dance my butt off, convalescing is not the easiest thing in the world for me. If it had not been for my dear friends and particularly my male friends, I might have gone stir crazy. For the first few days I could only lie in a prone position, channel surfing armed with my remote. You might think this would be something enjoyable, not so much. I had no idea that during the week, there is absolutely nothing on TV except for soaps. YAWN, boring!!!! I ended up ordering the movie channels for a few weeks, just to find something to watch to while away the hours. Thank god it rained almost every day. I didn’t feel that I was missing much outdoors, except for human contact. I was fortunate enough to have quite a few friends that were nice enough to phone and check up on me, on a daily basis. It was like a lifeline and I am so grateful for them.
I am constantly reminded how wrong John Grey was (Men are from Mars Women are from Venus) when he tried to tell me that men never want to talk to women. I say Bull____, if they are given an opportunity to converse to a reasonably intelligent, respectful woman, you would be surprised how much they talk and how open they are about anything. I still have a few ex’s that call me every once in a while just to chat about their kids, relationships, their jobs and life in general. So take that John Grey and no they are not gay as he so rudely stated they must be if they were willing to talk to a woman! As you can guess he was not my favourite interview. It really did surprise me that he was so black and white considering his name is Grey. 🙂 I guess he is right to a degree, the chance of him and I being friends is zilch; thankfully there plenty of men that are more than willing to be.
I have another dear male friend that will go to movies with me, yes even foreign films with sub-titles. We both just love great acting and films with real stories and real people not just the Hollywood Blockbusters full of Superstars. Again this friendship is non-threatening to anyone including both of us but allows us to share a common interest.
I have learned so much from my male friends, about men in general and relationships. I do realize these friendships can be difficult though if one of you has sexual fantasies that can cloud the issue. The best thing you can do in that situation is be completely honest so as to not lead them on. I realize this can be tough sometimes but honesty really is the best policy here. If they are truly not able to just be your platonic friend they may opt out and you have to respect that. Not all men and women can be friends, but when it works, it can be great. When you are in a romantic relationship as well, you need to be very up front with your partner about these friends or there will be huge jealousy problems. As long as everything is aboveboard it should be workable. But make sure that they are not taking the place of something you should be sharing with your partner, or you may have serious problems.
To those women that don’t have any male friends, I suggest you try it, you would be surprised how much you can benefit from spending time with a man, without a sexual relationship. I would love to hear your input about male and female friendships. Have you had a long time friend of the opposite sex? What have you learned from them? Did the relationship end when one of you started a romantic relationship elsewhere? Have you had that friendship turn into something deeper and had it last? Just like anything worthwhile in your life, male and female friendships can be tricky but they can be very rewarding also and well worth the effort. I would love to hear your stories about your friendships. We can never have too many friends!