Chemistry, is that all you need?
According to Merriam-Webster, “The word Pheromone comes to us from Greek origin meaning to transfer and excite. Pheromone a naturally occurring chemical compound found in all insects, animals, and humans sends airborne messages to trigger a response from one member of the opposite sex to the other. When pheromones are secreted they dictate sexual behavior and attract the opposite sex. It is reported that when two individuals in the presence of each other are secreting pheromones simultaneously the chemistry can be impossible to resist. “
So how do we know when we have it? Sometimes it can feel like a little pang of excitement that leaps into the middle of your throat, I have actually gasped before. That connection that makes you smile for no particular reason, your heart races and you may feel a little giddy, light headed or nervous. It can happen across a crowded room, walking down the street, in a coffee shop, usually when you least expect it.
For many years I believed you always knew if you had chemistry almost immediately. I had heard it could grow out of friendship but I had never had it happen, so of course I didn’t believe it. 🙂 In today’s instant world so many of us have become impatient, expecting to know all the answers immediately. Sound familiar? The truth is, real love does not always evolve at the same speed for everyone. Sometimes for whatever reason our timing is off and it takes a little longer.
Through experience, I have often found that an immediate explosion of chemistry can be nothing more than a fleeting physical attraction. Sometimes it is because it reminds us of something familiar, maybe something unresolved from our past, not necessarily a good thing. Like a bonfire the faster the combustion the faster it can burn out. I have also found that if it starts from a smaller ember and grows as you get to know each other the better chance you have of a longer lasting flame.
At my ripe old age of 56 I can now absolutely attest you can fall in love with a friend out of compatibility and that physical chemistry and love can grow. How do I know? Because I lived it and trust me no one was more surprised than me. Actually pretty much everyone else knew before me. Yes even Matchmakers and dating coaches are human too, like everyone we learn by our mistakes. The good thing is I do pay attention and I always get the lesson, eventually! 🙂 Life is a journey not a destination and the more you are open to life and all its possibilities the better chance you have of finding that great love. Remember to listen to your head and heart as well as your private parts. Be careful you don’t miss out on someone amazing!
I have to laugh when I see some Matchmakers telling a guy to pick with their penis, really? That might get you someone you might want to sleep with but it won’t necessarily find you someone you want to talk to afterwards. Personally I want both, I want to be attracted to my partner but it is not the number one reason to consider a partner. I want someone I really like as well as lust after. Compatibility, lifestyle, life paths, basic core values, a positive nature and a great sense of humour are just as important as physical chemistry. Of course it is up to you, but seriously how much time do you spend in bed with your partner and home much time do you spend sharing a life?