Instant Chemistry, don’t let that spark blind you!
A few years ago I read a great book written by Barbara DeAngelis PhD. She writes and I quote “The key to choosing the right partner is to look for a person with character, not simply a good personality the same goes for being a beautiful person versus being hot.”
She states that there are Six qualities to look for in a partner, someone who has….
Commitment to personal growth, Emotional openness, Integrity, Maturity and responsibility, High self esteem, Positive attitude toward life
Not exactly what you were expecting right? You are probably thinking she is taking all the romance out of being in love. But just think about how romantic it will be going through a messy divorce after a tumultuous relationship, (again and again). Save yourself the heartache and try and think with your head as well as your body parts.
Barbara has a few great questions to ask if you contemplating if a partner is right for you.
If this person never changed one iota and was exactly the way they are for the rest of their life, would you be able to live with them and would you happily accept them?
Would you want to have a child exactly like this person and would you be proud of them?
Great questions aren’t they?
True love is actually way more complicated than anything you can imagine. It does not happen overnight, as we get to know each other and overcome obstacles, not just enjoy the good times, this is where your relationships have the opportunity to deepen and grow that lasting bond called true love! In todays instant world we all expect to know everything in the first minute but trust me it takes a lot longer to find “the keeper”. Albert Einstein said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” If you are “picking” based on your instant chemistry, your type, over and over again and it hasn’t worked before, why are you trusting it as a guide? Try taking a second look you at that great guy or girl in front of you that you really enjoy spending time with and can talk for hours with about anything, that makes you laugh and you can be yourself with. I bet you know someone like that right now. Someone with that Instant chemistry might blind you with that “instant spark” or if you try looking for someone you really LIKE and who LIKES YOU while you get to know them a little deeper chances are you might find a long lasting relationship that makes you both HAPPY and isn’t that what you really want?
As usual I wish the best on your journey and if I can help call me 778-927-1204.