Intelligent successful women and their dating challenges.
“There’s a large demographic of women living in Canada and the US who have spent the better part of their life getting educated and then focusing on their career. These women have become like men to make it in a man’s world and unfortunately, are still showing up like men on dates. They’ve adopted many masculine traits and lost touch with the feminine side of themselves – putting a serious dent in their love life. It’s fantastic that women have become independent, but very few know how to strike a balance between this independence and allowing a man take care of them. Men no longer feel useful around North American women and are starting to date women from more traditional cultures where women are strong, but also understand how to make a man feel like her hero. Men are starved to be around women who are receptive and appreciative of what he produces for them. Even though North American women can produce everything for themselves, the one thing they will never be able to produce for themselves is romance! The single most attractive thing to every man is a woman who makes him feel like she needs him. Period.”
Initially I thought why should we put all the emphasis on the women? If a man was confident and secure in himself this shouldn’t be an issue. To a degree, I still think this may be accurate and I did interview a few men this morning about exactly this issue. The general consensus was, “if a man was confident he shouldn’t feel threatened by a woman that may be as successful or intelligent as themselves or more so”. On the other hand some of my clients have told me they don’t want to date women they consider overachievers. When I questioned this they told me “they don’t want to date a woman that was smarter than them”. Which made me wonder if they were insecure or maybe Kim is right. I would have to admit I have found it a problem a few times, but happily most of the men I have dated appreciated that I was intelligent and a girly girl. So maybe that really is the key or maybe I am not successful enough, yet! 🙂
I believe a woman needs to maintain being feminine as Kim suggests if they are looking to find a confident loving male partner. I have found a lot of these women, particularly ones I deal with are still very feminine. They have repeatedly said to me “they are looking for a strong confidant man that will challenge them as well”. They are very clear they do not want a man they can step all over. So the last thing we want to do is emasculate them. Unfortunately a lot of men are painting all intelligent, successful women with the same brush. It is my belief that most generalizations are inaccurate.
I do agree that in order to fit into the Business world some women have lost some of their feminine side. I also agree that men do like to feel like they are needed and valued, but so do women. The bottom line is I believe all men and women want to feel our partner or potential partner respects and appreciates us in and out of the bedroom. I also think some men have lost confidence along the way and this has in turn turned off a lot of women. So my general understanding at this point is that intelligent, successful women need to keep that feminine side if we are interested in attracting the opposite sex. We also need to make sure and appreciate our potential partners for their intelligence and successes and allow them the opportunity to be the man we say we want them to be. That being said it is also important for men to be responsible for themselves and recognize being around this sort of woman is actually a great compliment (after all she picked you) and it should not make you feel insecure about yourself. I think we all need to be responsible for ourselves and more open minded about the opposite sex.
These are just my opinions but I would certainly be interested in your input. I would welcome your comments on this issue. Have you dated a woman that is more successful in business than you, what issues arose? Women have you struggled with these issues and how have you overcome them or have you?
Special thanks to Kim Sarrasin and the gentlemen that were kind enough to let me pick their brains. 🙂
**“Kim Sarrasin is a dating and relationship expert who has been featured on CBC TV, written numerous articles on dating and relationships and is a frequent guest on national radio. With the success of her popular Dating & Relating Weekend Workshops, TeleseminarsandCoaching Programs, Kim continues to develop new services and products to reach a wider audience. To receive her FREE audio series “The 5 Essential Steps For Dating Success, go to www.datingandrelating.ca”