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IS THERE HOPE FOR ME IN TODAY’S DATING WORLD?

I get asked this question all the time “is there hope for me”? The simple answer is YES. There is always HOPE! But most singles make it almost impossible for themselves. I’ll try to explain this a bit.

My favorite tagline is always ”the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” By Albert Einstein and me. Think about it, when was the last time you changed your way of looking for a great match or your version of what you think you need to be happy? My guess is never or very rarely. Let me ask you “how’s that working for you?” How big is your wish list? If it contains more than 10 requirements you might have Unrealistic Expectations. You may have too many Wants and not enough Needs.

You would be surprised how many women list over 6’ as a top requirement, the average height in Vancouver is 5’9 and that’s being generous. With Canada and Vancouver’s ethnic diversity we have a plethora of men that are less than 5’7”. I understand if you are 5’11” yourself you want a man taller than you but if you are less than 5’10” that is a Want not a Need. Also height is no guarantee of a good man or match. Trust me I have dated a lot of tall men, not all good.

The majority of men regardless of age ask for someone that is model thin, fit and long hair. Does that describe the majority of women? No. Is this a guarantee of a good woman? No. Again this is a Want not a Need. The reality is they really just want a feminine woman that is nice to them.

You want someone within a 10 mile radius. Seriously? You would be surprised how many times I hear this. But if you are open minded and can think outside of the neighbor there are a lot more options that open up for you. I’ve matched many people that live in different cities, even countries that have the flexibility to travel easily. The bigger the pool the better chance there is a finding a great person.

They must make a ton of money! Really, have you seen the Housewives or the Kardashians? It doesn’t seem to make them happy, for long. Money will not buy you Happiness, especially if they are driven by money! You will not be a priority.

I can go on, but I think you get my point. These things are Wants not Needs and they are very different. What should be on your wish list is things like trustworthy, respectful, passionate, good sense of humor, genuinely good compassionate person, positive outlook on life, healthy, financially responsible and ready and capable of a committed loving relationship and someone that you really like spending time with. PS.If Religion is an issue then add it.

I promise when you focus on your Needs to make you happy versus what you Want there is a much better chance you will find a great partner in person versus one that only looks good on paper. So the bottom line is YES there is hope for you, but only if you are open to a bigger pool of people by thinking about what makes up your perfect partner differently. The choice is up to you. What’s it gonna be?

PS. Keep in mind whatever you focus on you find, so if you believe there are no good men or women or that you won’t find one, that’s what you will find. Why would you set yourself up to fail?

www.match-works.com

  1. JoelJoel08-04-2016

    A great post there, thankfully the want vs need is not the root of my problem. My need list includes those things you listed such as trustworthy, respectful, healthy, happy, responsible ect. The problem for me lies in the quote you started with, I do the same thing over and over and still get the same result, or to put it another way if you keep doing nothing, you find yourself getting nothing.

    • Sheree MorganSheree Morgan08-04-2016

      Thank you Joel, so I have to ask What is holding you back? What do you do to meet someone or are saying you are waiting for them to find you?

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