Three relationships to make one work?
“Today I would like to introduce Jeremy Cid my guest blogger. Jeremy is a relationship coach and has great insight for singles and couples looking to build lasting connections.”
We are all aware that there different types of relationships and that different things/actions/thought patterns are required to make each one work. To generalize the definition of a relationship, we refer to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary which defines a relationship as “a kinship or a state of affairs existing between those having interactions or dealings.”
As a relationship coach, I work with clients in all different relationships. It should come as no surprise that the majority of my work does focus on intimate relationships. So what would you say if I told you that the most successful couples actually spend time focusing on three relationships in order to make the one relationship between them, not only functional, but as close as possible to being ideal?
Before I provide a visual example of what I mean, I think it’s important to understand the basics of our relationships. Then I will provide a success formula that shows how to have a complete and fulfilling relationship.
Most of us have played with Legos at some point and time in our lives. I see our lives as Legos. Each block represents every experience we have had in our lives. The older we are, the more Lego blocks we have with which to build. Our experiences build our lives and a person with a healthy mindset and keen self-awareness can build something magnificent all on their own. When we meet someone, they have their own set of Lego blocks with which they have built their life. When we decide to share our lives with that person, we combine the unique set of experiences we each have to build something bigger, better and even more fulfilling.
In other words, we are just kids playing in this giant sandbox with our own set of Legos. From time to time, we see another kid with whom we are drawn and decide that we want to play with them. So we grab our Legos and scoot over to put ours with them and play together. What that shows is that the most important and most basic relationship in our lives is the one that we have with ourselves. So when you are involved in an intimate relationship with another person, the formula for the success of that relationship would look like:
HIM WITH HER + HIM WITH HIMSELF + HER WITH HERSELF = SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP
If any part of that equation is missing, then you can’t possibly achieve a successful relationship. It’s like an algebra equation. If one of the variables are missing, you have to solve for that missing variable before you have the correct answer. Let’s use me as an example. If there is something with which I am dissatisfied in my life which I am neglecting, the relationship that I have with myself is going to prevent me from achieving the desired result.
ME WITH HER + HER WITH HERSELF + X = RELATIONSHIP
Realize that you can still have a relationship, even with the missing variable. That doesn’t mean that it is the right answer for you/her/him or both of you. Before you can fix something that is wrong in your relationship, you have to spend the time finding the answers to fix the relationship within the relationship – the one with yourself. After all, it’s the only relationship in your life in which you will ever have 100% control. Every other one gives you 50% control over the outcome of any situation because you have involved a variable over which you have no control.
WRITTEN FOR MATCH-WORKS MATCHMAKING BY JEREMY CID, ALWAYS OPENING DOORS © 2012 VISIT OUR WEBSITE HERE