When is enough, enough?
1. Anytime there is physical violence,there should never be a chance for a second time, period! Walk away now!
2. When your partner isolates you from your friends and family, this is all about their insecurities and they are looking to control you. This is never about love!
3. When you feel you have to walk on eggshells all the time in order to keep the peace or keep the “Bomb” from exploding. I have news for you, even though they tell you it’s your fault. It is not! And the “Bomb” will always go off, no matter what you do.
4. They are so threatened by you talking or interacting in anyway with anyone but them. Jealousy is not Love, it is their insecurity issue, not yours and you cannot fix them!
5. They threaten to hurt themselves or someone else if you don’t stay with them or do what they want. Ex. “If you love me you will….”. “I can’t live without you”. Try to get them help and if they won’t go, leave. This is a serious issue. You cannot fix or save them alone. They will drag you down with them no matter how much you think you can help them (I am talking especially to those out there with the white knight syndrome).
6. They continually criticize everything you do or say. Again this is not about you it is about them. They are trying to convince themselves and you that no one else would have you. Why would you want to be with someone that thinks so poorly of you?
7. They are spending more and more time away from you with no plausible explanations and they get very defensive about it. Just so you know, if someone wants to be with you they will be. Never beg for their time. If they don’t want to be there, you don’t want them!
8. If you have a gut feeling that they are continually lying to you or hiding something or things. Learn to trust your instinct, Chances are they are!
9. When you are given no control over your own life and made to feel that you are less than competent, this is their control issue not yours. Ex. Financially, decision making. Isn’t it time for you to stand up and take care of yourself?
10. They use sex or withholding sex as a bargaining tool and or they blame you continually for their unhappiness. It is not your responsibility to make them Happy, they have to be happy within themselves.
Love is not easy or perfect by all means. If you are happy 70% of the time or more than this is probably a good relationship but if you are miserable more than 50% of the time, it’s time to go!
I am always referring to people that are dating and relating. If someone (male or female) treats you badly, they can only do what you let them! But you have to stop them at the onset. Once the cycle of abuse starts it becomes harder and harder to break away or stop it.Why? Because they know that they can get away with it.
Hopefully you will find out these issues before you marry them and never ever think that marrying them will make it all better. It will only get worse! Be good to yourself out there! If you don’t why would anyone else?