Are you still riding a roller coaster relationship?
My first question is why? What about that roller coaster relationship has you going back for more? How many times do you have to crash and burn before you say uncle, enough, I got the lesson? If it didn’t work 5 or 10 times before it’s not going to work now. The problems and reasons it didn’t work will still be there, or there will be new ones. A square peg never fits in a round hole no matter how much you try. It’s not going to work just because you want it to. If you are thinking “but it’s all my fault (because they tell you it is), if I just tried this, if I’m perfect enough, if I do what they want, if I sacrifice my happiness overall”. Seriously, these are things I hear intelligent adults say every day. I also know first hand, because I did it trying to make a parent love me. STOP! It’s time to get off the roller coaster. Unless of course you are a thrill seeker and don’t honestly want a healthy sane lasting relationship. If so by all means keep flogging that dead horse.
It’s why my tagline on my email is “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. by Albert Einstein”. Stop the insanity.
Sometimes you eventually walk away from that relationship but keep picking the same type. Different person, same problems, because you have to prove you are enough, you can overcome this problem, this challenge, you can make them love you and stay with you. Oh oh sound like a possibility?
Look inside yourself honestly and look at why you keep going back? Do you think you don’t deserve someone being kind and respectful to you, who actually accepts you? Do you need the drama of the roller coaster ride? Do you think that panicked feeling is actually love? It’s actually fear of being rejected or hurt, again. You know it’s coming. Are you only happy when you are walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop or are you a borderline masochist? Do you have to win at all cost and he or she’s a challenge? Or are you just bored and it’s so easy to just step back into that old pattern or relationship? But no matter what you do it never works long term, and you are never able to just relax and be yourself.
I wish I could lie to you and tell you it will be different but it won’t help, it won’t change until you change what you are looking for, your priorities, your expectations. Try something, someone different, be open to someone that appreciates you as you are, not what someone wants you to be. You are enough, you deserve better. Someone who will respect, support, comfort, love and appreciate you just as you are. Unless of course you’re the problem, then never mind. 🙂 But I highly doubt you would even read this post if you were. You wouldn’t care enough to read it and you certainly wouldn’t believe it was about you. .
Also please be kind to other people, do not go back into the dating pool, other people don’t know your entanglements and will get hurt. You need to get yourself together and figure out your own emotions, issues and be seriously over riding the roller coaster. It’s disrespectful, hurtful and unkind to anyone else out there that might actually be interested and nice to you.
When you are ready for a change call me. But please leave your roller coaster mindset and relationship in your past. 778-927-1204
P.S. You may resort to drugs or alcohol to dull or soothe that broken headache or heartache or desire for what you can’t have but they too can become addictive. Please be careful out there, with yourself and others.