RESPECT! WE all deserve it, including our loved ones!

RESPECT- (to feel or show esteem, deference, or honour to, refrain from violating, treat with consideration)

We all deserve and want to be treated with RESPECT  right?  What about our partners or loved ones? Why is it some people think that  they are entitled to talk to their loved ones anyway that they like?  I grew up in a totally disrespectful family and I am not going to ever allow that again. I learned a long time ago that it was my responsibility to let people know my boundaries. I do not let others treat me with disrespect anymore, at least not for long. 🙂

When someone disrespects us the first time it is their fault, but  by the second time it is our responsibility to let them know that we don’t appreciate it. If they still continue and we let it go, then it is our fault, because we are now affirming that this behaviour is acceptable.We cannot change the way people think, they will behave the way the choose to, but it is up to us to stop them from hurting us by not accepting bad behaviour. If you continue accepting their disrespectful behaviour “because you love them and don’t want to risk losing them”, the end result is that they will eventually lose all respect for you and probably leave anyways. But by that time they will have shaken your self esteem so much that will be difficult for you to move forward. It becomes a vicious cycle.

What is disrespect from a partner? Has your partner ever called you stupid, useless, fat, an idiot, swore at you or called you any other derogatory name, that is disrespect! It is bad enough when they belittle you on your own, It is even more disrespectful when they do it in front of others. I have confronted people who’s partners treated them this way and they actually told me, “oh it’s okay they don’t mean it, it’s just teasing”. Really, then why would they say it? We all know when people are “Teasing” there usually is a degree of truth in everything they say. It’s not funny to make a joke at someone else’s expense constantly and especially if they are your partner or loved one. Your partner should be the one that loves and honours you, not kicks you around verbally or physically. Have you ever treated a partner like this? Why, did it make you feel good to degrade them?

What about punching, hitting, slapping or physically hurting your partner in any way. Every one of you women just said “no way, men should never hit you”, but what about the men? Do you think it is acceptable to physically hurt your male counterpart? Some of you are saying “oh it’s okay, he can take it, it’s only light punches, slaps, it’s just kidding around, I am just a little woman”, no it is not acceptable.  It is not right for him to hit you and it is not right for you to hit him. Period! It is disrespectful. Years ago, I remember punching a man who I was dating (in the arm), while kidding around, because he was teasing me about something.  He grabbed my hand and said “don’t ever hit me again, I will never hit you and I don’t deserve to  be hit either”. Although he scared the heck out of me, he was dead right. I never thought about it, I was just thinking that  it was acceptable behaviour because I had seen other people do it.

We all have own definition of  what is comfortable when wrestling or fooling around, but if someone hits, punches or slaps you enough that you yelp or cry out, that is too hard. It is your responsibility to then ask them to stop and if they don’t stop, that is disrespect. You do have the right to tell a loved one, friend or family member that you don’t like it and you want it to stop.  

Love and respect should go hand and hand, we all want it and deserve it, so start by nurturing the ones you love, not beating them up verbally or physically. If you don’t, you may find that  one day you don’t have them to kick around anymore.  If we wish to keep our loved ones around and happy, wouldn’t our time be better spent telling them all the wonderful things that we do love about them rather than focusing on the negative. If you are so miserable that you can’t say a nice word maybe you should look within, because I will bet that it all starts there.

BE NICE TO EACH OTHER, there are enough bad things in the world to hurt us, our home should be our sanctuary.  

PS. As well, we must all lead by example. A child learns by example, so if you are disrespecting your husband or wife in front of your children they will learn it is acceptable behaviour.  If you let it continue you are also teaching them that it is okay. Be a good teacher! We all have to be responsible for our own behaviour.

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