Socialize With No Expectations?
How does the saying go? “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!” I remember being a teenager and waiting till the school dance, it seemed like it took forever but somehow when it got there it never quite seemed to measure up to the expectations we put on it. Why is that? It seems the more expectations we put on something the more disappointed we get. I have learned not to put such ridiculous expectations on life and people and now I can be pleasantly surprised when wonderful things unfold.
How many of you have decided that this year is the year that you are going to meet (the ONE)? The truth is there are actually many (ONES) for all of us. If we honestly look at what we really need in a relationship to make us happy, it’s probably not the (ONE) you think.
As most of you know I am a professional Matchmaker and I am given a pretty huge shopping list when I am looking for potential partners for my clients. I ask them for a lot of information, so don’t blame them, I need to know what characteristics they value in a partner. But while we are going through the process, I am always surprised by men who insist the first priority in a woman is that she is beautiful, fit, thin and young (of course) even if they are not any of those things themselves. Even if some of the wealthier older men do end up with some of these women, they are always surprised when life with the young beautiful women does not turn out to be all they really thought it would be. Anyone see the movie, It’s Complicated? Funny but rather painful I think!
Ladies don’t get off scott free either, not all men in the world look like Brad Pitt. Seriously do you want to date someone more attractive than you? Or George Clooney a self professed commitment phobic, until now, we’ll see how long that lasts. Or have money and fame like Tiger, with how many mistresses? Good looks and money will not guarantee happiness, at least not for a long time! That goes for men and women. Don’t get me started on Halle Berry’s ex’s. Come on, she Is stunningly beautiful, has her own money and fame and they still cheat on her! Just ask her or Tiger’s shocked but now very rich ex. I would wager they would rather have had a loving trustworthy, respectful honest partner they could count on to help them raise their family and grow old with.
If you have decided it is time to meet someone you can share the rest of our life with, that is half the battle. It’s like taking a trip, the first step is deciding where we want to go, how we are going to get there, making sure we are ready to go ourselves and taking only what we need and can carry for a great trip.
If you are ready to take that first step start by widening your playing field, do not expect picture perfect! Make sure you know what you really need (not just want) to make you happy and make that a priority over the Hollywood good looks, fame and fortune. Their relationships don’t seem to last very long, do they?
Start with yourself and make sure you are the best person you can be and try not to put any ridiculous expectations on your conversations or potential partner and you may just be pleasantly surprised. I don’t know about you but I love surprises!
Make 2015 a great year for your social life, as long as you are open minded and look for the positives, you will always find them! It all starts with a smile or a Hello, so make that move, start that conversation, it may be just a nice social interlude or it may just be………