Unrealistic expectations, please go slow………
In my last post I wrote about unrealistic expectations. Today I would like to add to that. I met someone that decided for our very first date that we should go for dinner. I thought how kind and thoughtful, but would honestly have been quite happy with a coffee and a chat to get to know each other better. Against my better judgement, I thought, he seems like a nice intelligent man, why not.
After a lovely dinner and nice conversation I realized that there was no real spark on my part, but was willing to wait and see a bit. Sometimes these things take a little time and the more you get to know them the more they grow on you. I was not given the chance, instead I got an e-mail saying that obviously I was not that interested. Not wanting to mislead him or hurt his feelings, I replied honestly and stated that he was a very nice intelligent man and thought he deserved a wonderful woman, even if that was not me and maybe I could help. Instead I got an angry e-mail stating that he thought I had tried to play him to lure him as a customer. As well, he complained about the money he spent for a dinner that he set up in order to try to impress me. He knew what I did for a living and had previously said that if he was not interested in me, he would have considered my services. That is the only reason that I suggested I might be able to help, I have learned my lesson.
Men do not expect that just because a woman accepts an invitation from you and you spend money on that date that the woman owes you anything. If you invite a woman for dinner and you pick the restaurant, you and only you are responsible for that bill. Women the best advice I can give and I have to take my own advice, is to go slow. If you do not know a man well, or if you are just meeting them for the first time, stick to coffee or lunch dates. I might add that you make sure that others know where you are and with whom. I learned a lesson and hopefully I can help others avoid this situation. I don’t believe that his anger was really meant for me.
People, please, please do not put unrealistic expectations on others. We cannot decide who we are drawn to and who we are not it is called Chemistry and god knows if I could figure out why we are attracted to one person and not the other I could make a mint, but alas it is the unknown. If you put unrealistic expectations on someone that you barely know or are just meeting, you will almost always be disappointed. All we can do is to try to stay open, positive and continue to try to be brave while we search for that elusive partner. I wish you all happy hunting and if I can be of any help through my blog or my matchmaking services please let me know. If you have any stories about first dates you would like to share, please post them here.