Why is everyone else getting everything you want!

Sometimes it seems that some men or women get all the attention, yet others get none. Sometimes you may wish that you were one of “them” other times  you can thank god that you are not. Would you really want to be pursued just for your looks? Wait don’t answer that. 🙂  We all want to think that there is a lot more to us  than just the physical appearance.  Thank god we are all different though, how boring it would be if we all looked like Angelina Jolie  or  Brad Pitt. (Not really either of my picks ,but you know what I mean) 
I am always surprised at the unrealistic expectations that  a lot of singles have.   Let’s face it ladies, most of us would like someone that looks like George Clooney, treats us like a queen and has millions of dollars he wants to share with us. Realistically we would really be happy if we found a man that would love, respect, emotionally and physically support us  and commit .. . Sorry I just said the C word. Men I know that you want a  beautiful sweet young thing that worships you as a sex god and will jump at your every word. Realistically you would be happy with a woman that loved, respected, worshiped you as a sex god,  fed you often and let you watch the games without complaining,  am I right?

So maybe it is not what we don`t have that is important but that our expectations are unrealistic. No one is perfect and the more you are convinced that you have to wait for the perfect man or woman, the harder it will be to find MR. or MRS. right. That`s not to say that I think that you should settle, but that you really do honestly have to look at what really is important. Men just ask a man that has been taken to the cleaners by a sweet young thing after she cheats on him with her younger stud muffin (that she is supporting with your money). I have talked to many  men who are honestly surprised when it happens. What did you think she was looking at, it wasn`t your 40-50 year old  butt  in those jeans,  it was your wallet.  Women do you honestly want to be controlled by George  or Brad, how would you feel  about all the women in the world lusting after them and who wants to date a man that is prettier than them……no thanks. Take a good long look in the mirror,explore what you bring to the table and sit down and  make a list about what is really important for you to be happy in a relationship.  Throw away the wish list and be honest. I think that  might be a good place to start. I welcome your thoughts about this.

  1. RyanRyan03-25-2009

    Throw away the wish list. The more things you have on your wish list, the harder you make it to find someone. Let’s look at some numbers. (numbers are estimates taken from the 2006 census)

    Using myself as an example: I’m looking for a single female, hetero, aged 30-39. Only four things on the list.

    Vancouver (city) population ~560,000
    % female aprox 50% down to 280,000
    % single aprox 45% (25% never married) and we’re down to 126,000
    % hetero 95% down to 120,000
    age 30-39, 15% down to 18,000

    So there should be 18,000 women who fit the bill with only 4 requirements. Already we’re down to only 3% of the population. Half that if previously married women are not considered.

    If we add in other conditions (job, education, no drug use, active, no kids, religion) and we narrow the pool down even further. Getting kinda shallow, eh? Add in things like hot, tall, thin, blue eyed, red hair, has car etc. and suddenly there isn’t much out there that fits the wish list. And we haven’t even talked about attraction or chemistry!

    The numbers get even worse if we run the numbers for people in their 40’s or 50’s. Ladies can expect the numbers for men to be similar.

    Forget the wish list. Make a list of absolute musts. Keep it short. Be willing to meet and consider anyone who fills in the “musts” column. Keep the size of your pool as big as possible and maximize your chances of success.

  2. vancouverdatingvancouverdating03-25-2009

    I totally agree, very insightful. Check out my latest post about unconditional love.

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