Why is socializing in Vancouver so hard?
I am asked this all the time, “Why is dating or even basic socializing so hard?”
Personally as someone who has a tendency to talk to anyone I can’t understand it, but that does not mean that everyone talks back. Often I am met with strange looks or people who just ignore me. Why? It is not a marriage proposal or an invitation to sleep with me, it is just a conversation!
Why have Vancouver singles gotten so rigid and down right cold?
I have my theories, here are a few:
Fear of rejection
Social media has created anti social mentality when face to face
We have no game, through lack of face to face practice
We put unrealistic expectations on a conversation, it’s just a conversation
Our expectations have gotten far too high
We have become very judgmental
We blame the other party instead of being responsible for taking the initiative
We have become reliant on Online dating and social media to connect, but how many of those people do you actually ever meet?
Online dating has created a throw away mentality
My best friend is an American man and let me tell you, he has game. A few years ago I asked him why American men were so much better at socializing. He told me that there was a plethora of available men in the states, so if they saw someone they were interested in they had to act fast or there would be 30 others there in a flash. I know American and European women always expect the man to take the lead, take charge, be the man! Let’s be honest, the ones that don’t make the effort don’t score with the ladies. So Kudos to all the men that do! Actually never mind, they are already enjoying the benefits! 🙂
Vancouver men say “Vancouver women are unapproachable”, that may be true of some women but not the majority. Honestly most Vancouver women want men to make that first move, hey the Americans are cleaning up, so it must work. Ladies please make sure that your welcome mat is out, your smile and eye contact can make or break a mans confidence and intention. So if no one is initiating contact you might want to look at what your demeanor is saying about you. You may not even be aware that you are coming across as standoffish.
“Where is a great place to meet someone?” Anywhere!
But here are a few ideas:
Coffee shops are perfect, just put down your cell phone and talk to the person beside you!
Activities, but make sure men and women actively participate!
The grocery lineup or any place you have to cue up and wait for awhile, what else do you have to do?
Home Depot, Rona, there are lots of men there ladies, you can always ask for help, men love to help!
The seawall, why do you think they got that cute dog?
Keep in mind you still have to attempt that connection, it is not enough to just show up.
“What is a good opening line?” my favorite….. Hello! How are you today? Seriously no need for come on lines and women can usually spot them a mile away.
Socializing is not brain surgery, we just need to take the initiative and remember just do it, with no expectations. Who knows you might be pleasantly surprised at the reaction. It all starts with a smile and a hello!
Now get out there and practice, practice, practice!If you are so shy and you can’t do anything else start with a smile, I promise if you give enough away they will start to come back to you!!!!!!